First off, I just want to say thank you for the outpouring of love and support during this difficult time. I am so very humbled by your responses. I may not have any sort of financial status or a place to call home, but the honest truth is that I have everything that matters right here. It means so very much to me that you all are just ... there. I really feel like the luckiest person in the world.
Tonight we're staying at an Inn in Concord. It is far nicer than the Motel 6 and way more comfortable than the minivan. Matt went to go do laundry, while I caught up on my homework. (My entrepreneurship class is BRUTAL.) The kids got to catch up on all of their favorite shows during that time.
Later in the evening, my oldest sat at the computer and wrote the beginnings of a story. So far, it is about a family of Gypsies who find an old abandoned excavation site with "dino ooze" that transforms one of the kids into a sort of dinosaur super hero.
We ate a meal of canned raviolis, and played a game of "Would You Rather." I had the choice of either eating T-Rex boogers or unicorn poop. I chose the unicorn poop because it was a.) (apparently) sparkly, and b.) the kids just about died when I announced my choice.
I think it was right around that point, amidst the laughter, that I realized how good my life is. Really good.
I mean, yes, we are homeless. Yes, we have very little money left, and essentially zero personal possessions. But in the grand scheme of Things, they are exactly that. Things.
What I have is Now. My kids, my husband. I can remember back to all those years that my husband missed out on holidays, birthdays, homework, goodnight hugs and kisses, because he had to work long hours to support us. All of that time missed, time that we will never get back. And for what exactly?
That is why I can't allow myself to feel defeated by our situation. Do I wish that we had a roof over our heads? Absolutely. However, I am beginning to realize that I do not need to spend each day in despair, so long as I remind myself of this "Nowness" that I have been given.
For that, I'd eat sparkly unicorn poop any day of the week.